Every year, Time Magazine announces its "Person of the Year." The distinction is not based on achievement, but influence on society and events.
Occasionally the magazine will go with a conceptual winner like “The Whistleblowers” (2002- think Enron) or “You” (2006 – think YouTube) or “Gangsta Rappers” (not really.)
The choice this year is obvious. You know who I’m talking about. Introducing: “The Unfaithful Man.”
Can’t you just picture the cover? Bikini-clad Elin Nordegren christens her new yacht, "Infidelity,” while Tiger Woods, Jesse James, and John Edwards huddle in a lifeboat. Rub-a-dub-dub, three losers in a tub!
Just why do the unfaithful jeopardize committed relationships for a quickie? Stupidity seems the obvious answer, but I’d like to think that there is something more compelling.
Nope. Wishful thinking.
But I digress. What is most interesting to me is not the why of affairs, but the how.
For most of us, free time is like Haley’s Comet: it comes about once a century. Our days are consumed by an endless list of Sisyphean chores: office work, housework, kids and laundry. Lather, rinse, repeat.
At what point in this cycle does one jet down to the Motel Hi-Ho for an afternoon delight?
I don’t know about you, but if I don’t write it down in my calendar, it doesn’t happen. So, for me, I’d have to schedule in an affair:
2:00: Conference Call
3:00: Kids to orthodontist
4:00: Wild monkey sex
5:00: Kids to soccer
6:00: School recital
7:00: Etc, etc…
Exactly what is the appropriate way to schedule the affair on the iphone? Is there an app for that? What ring tone do you use for the reminder? Barry White?
You really have to hand it to the unfaithful: they take multi-tasking to a whole new level. You have to admire someone who can hold down a job and family and still have time to wine, dine, and snog a mistress.
As for me, I’m going to take my Time Magazine and read it while I fold more laundry.
