This afternoon I noticed that I was low on gas so I pulled into my local BP.
But then I remembered my promise. After the Deepwater Horizon disaster, I vowed never, ever to buy gas from BP again. I believed wholeheartedly that this personal boycott would teach Big Oil a lesson, possibly saving a future fish or two and ultimately making the world a greener place for my progeny. I would single-handedly combat global warming by changing gas brands. Greenpeace, here I come!
So I pulled out of BP and drove an extra self-righteous mile down the road to my local Mobil. But as I filled my tank with unleaded, the shoe dropped. Visions of Exxon Valdez flashed before me. Is there nowhere I can purchase gas without the pall of environmental malfeasance?
Watching the pump approach $50, I began to feel increasingly sheepish. You see, I drive an SUV.
On the scale of gas guzzlers, I’m somewhere in the middle. I’m no Hummer, but I ain’t no Prius either. With only two kids, clearly I could drive something smaller, but the fact of the matter is that I LOVE MY CAR. Outside of the hideous sound it makes when I put on the emergency brake, the thing drives like a dream.
So how do I reconcile my love for my car with my love for the Earth? I don’t. It’s one of those convenient blind spots. You know what I'm talking about. It’s the same one that lets you eat veal and shop at WalMart.
My husband says that owning a big car is a necessary evil in an age of distracted drivers. It's hard to argue with that logic. But the price of my safety (and let's face it, comfort) is a disappearing ozone layer, flash flooding, and the death of bottom-dwelling sea creatures.
While my conscience slowly gnaws at my blind spot, I’ll continue driving my car and try to forget oil rig explosions or aquatic birds covered in petroleum. But my denial is not unlike the gas in my car - it can only take me so far before it disappears and I have to face facts. Hopefully the Earth will hang in there until I do.
tlc
